Today I am writing to let you know that I am basing my management style on a book I just read.  When I say, "I just read," what I really mean is that I like the title.  Okay, part of the title.  The book is, "The Very Hungry Caterpillar," and you can forget the "erpillar" part.

I want you all to embrace this new direction in what we are all trying to do, which is provide me with more food.  Actually it is not a new direction.  Only my approach has changed, which has gone from one of subtle hints and sultry looks to one of coherent, forceful demands.  You could say we're going from "Good" to "Great", but I sure as hell never said that.

I don't want you to buy this book, because money spent on books will never buy cat food.  Nor do I really care if you read it; just get the freaking message and feed me!

Remember, many great thinkers throughout history have puzzled over the meaning of the word, "Excellence."  Where did it get them?  They're all dead now.